​“Cakap! Cakap! Berucap! Berucap!”

Sekumpulan siswa berada di dalam sebuah dewan syarahan. Mereka memberi dorongan kepada setiap seorang antara mereka untuk berkata sesuatu bagi mesyuarat agung mereka. 

“Kita adalah suara rakyat!” kata salah seorang daripada mereka.
“Kita adalah siswa harapan rakyat!” sambut lagi seorang daripada mereka.
“Kita suara ramai!”
“Kita ramai bersuara!”
“Kita siswa harapan negara!”
“Tidak semua anggota rakyat boleh menjadi siswa! Kita istimewa!”
“Kita istimewa!”
“Kita bijak pandai cerdik pintar bistari!”
“Tidak ada siapa yang boleh diamkan kita!”
“Tanpa kita, tidak ada mereka!”
“Cakap! Cakap! Berucap! Berucap!”


Mereka terus mendorong satu-sama lain dengan perasaan penuh bersemangat. Salah seorang dari mereka menaiki pentas dengan dorongan dan sorakan yang lain.


“Cakap! Cakap! Berucap! Berucap!”
“Kita bijak pandai cerdik pintar bistari!”
“Tidak ada siapa yang boleh senyapkan kita!”


Siswa pertama berada di atas pentas, membetulkan alat pembesar suara di hadapannya dan berkata, “Esok hujan!”

Dewan menjadi riuh. Ada yang bersorak. Ada yang mengeluh. Mereka semua bersuara pada masa yang sama.


“Ini semua bencana alam!”
“Sekarang bukan musim hujan!"
“Jabatan kaji cuaca tidak boleh dipercaya!”
“Hujan akan turun tetapi harga air naik!”
“Banjir kilat menandakan kemajuan dalam pembinaan lebih banyak prasarana!”
“Banjir itu bencana!”
“Bukan banjir. Hanya kolam sahaja!”
“Bila hendak jemur baju?”
“Hujan itu rahmat Tuhan!”
“Bersyukur!”
“Ini bencana!”


Siswa pertama berjalan menuruni pentas. Siswa kedua mula hendak menaiki pentas. Para siswa yang lain memberi dorongan kepada setiap seorang antara mereka untuk berkata sesuatu bagi mesyuarat agung mereka. 


“Kita adalah suara rakyat!” kata salah seorang daripada mereka.
“Kita adalah siswa harapan rakyat!” sambut lagi seorang daripada mereka.
“Kita suara ramai!”
“Kita ramai bersuara!”
“Kita siswa harapan negara!”
“Tidak semua anggota rakyat boleh menjadi siswa! Kita istimewa!”
“Kita istimewa!”
“Kita bijak pandai cerdik pintar bistari!”
“Tidak ada siapa yang boleh diamkan kita!”
“Tanpa kita, tidak ada mereka!”


“Cakap! Cakap! Berucap! Berucap!”

Siswa kedua berada di atas pentas, membetulkan alat pembesar suara di hadapannya dan berkata, “Handphone saya cantik!!”
​
Dewan menjadi riuh. Ada yang bersorak. Ada yang mengeluh. Mereka semua bersuara pada masa yang sama.

“Maksud awak handphone saya tak cantik?”
“Kecantikan itu subjective!”
“Alat bijak, pengguna bodoh!”
“Kita semua sudah diabui kapitalisma!”
“Handphone lain lagi murah tapi fungsinya sama.”
“Kerana awak membeli handphone cantik, maka harga handphone lain juga dinaikkan walaupun fungsinya sama!”
“Penggunaan barang elektronik merosakkan alam semulajadi!”
“Carbon footprint!”
“Awak menggunakan handphone untuk menunjuk riak!”
“Awak bukan pembeli handphone, awak pembeli jenama!”
“Awak adalah lembu yang dicucuk hidung, diheret jenama!”

Siswa kedua berjalan menuruni pentas. Siswa ketiga mula hendak menaiki pentas. Para siswa yang lain memberi dorongan kepada setiap seorang antara mereka untuk berkata sesuatu bagi mesyuarat agung mereka. 


“Kita adalah suara rakyat!” kata salah seorang daripada mereka.
“Kita adalah siswa harapan rakyat!” sambut lagi seorang daripada mereka.

“Kita suara ramai!”
“Kita ramai bersuara!”
“Kita siswa harapan negara!”
“Tidak semua anggota rakyat boleh menjadi siswa! Kita istimewa!”
“Kita istimewa!”
“Kita bijak pandai cerdik pintar bistari!”
“Tidak ada siapa yang boleh diamkan kita!”
“Tanpa kita, tidak ada mereka!”


“Cakap! Cakap! Berucap! Berucap!”


Siswa ketiga berada di atas pentas, membetulkan alat pembesar suara di hadapannya dan berkata, “Saya suka warna hijau!”


Dewan menjadi riuh. Ada yang bersorak. Ada yang mengeluh. Mereka semua bersuara pada masa yang sama.


“Ini diskriminasi dengan warna-warna lain!”
“Kalau awak suka hijau, kenapa awak tidak menghalang penebasan hutan-hutan?”
“Hijau itu warna Islam!”
“Awak mendiskriminasi mereka-mereka yang buta warna dan tidak dapat melihat warna hijau!”
“Apakah mereka tidak berhak untuk meminati warna hijau juga?”
“Adakah awak terpengaruh dengan askar? Jika ya, awak menyokong pembunuhan!”

Siswa ketiga berjalan menuruni pentas. Siswa keempat mula hendak menaiki pentas. Para siswa yang lain memberi dorongan kepada setiap seorang antara mereka untuk berkata sesuatu bagi mesyuarat agung mereka. 


“Kita adalah suara rakyat!” kata salah seorang daripada mereka.
“Kita adalah siswa harapan rakyat!” sambut lagi seorang daripada mereka.


“Kita suara ramai!”
“Kita ramai bersuara!”
“Kita siswa harapan negara!”
“Tidak semua anggota rakyat boleh menjadi siswa! Kita istimewa!”
“Kita istimewa!”
“Kita bijak pandai cerdik pintar bistari!”
“Tidak ada siapa yang boleh diamkan kita!”
“Tanpa kita, tidak ada mereka!”


“Cakap! Cakap! Berucap! Berucap!”


Siswa keempat berada di atas pentas, membetulkan alat pembesar suara di hadapannya dan berkata, “Masakan nenek saya sedap!”


Dewan menjadi riuh. Ada yang bersorak. Ada yang mengeluh. Mereka semua bersuara pada masa yang sama.


“Anda mendiskriminasi nenek-nenek yang lain!”
“Apakah orang muda tidak boleh memasak?”
“Nenek anda sepatutnya berehat dan tidak perlu memasak lagi!”
“Di mana anak-anaknya? Apakah mereka anak-anak yang derhaka sehingga ibu mereka yang perlu memasak?”
“Akhir zaman! Seorang ibu melahirkan majikannya!”
“Anda tidak menyokong syarikat-syarikat penjualan makanan!”
“Anda tidak menyokong pekerja-pekerja penghantaran makanan!”
“Yang sedap itu selalunya tidak sihat!”


Siswa keempat berjalan menuruni pentas. Siswa kelima mula hendak menaiki pentas. Para siswa yang lain memberi dorongan kepada setiap seorang antara mereka untuk berkata sesuatu bagi mesyuarat agung mereka. 


“Kita adalah suara rakyat!” kata salah seorang daripada mereka.


“Kita adalah siswa harapan rakyat!” sambut lagi seorang daripada mereka.


“Kita suara ramai!”
“Kita ramai bersuara!”
“Kita siswa harapan negara!”
“Tidak semua anggota rakyat boleh menjadi siswa! Kita istimewa!”
“Kita istimewa!”
“Kita bijak pandai cerdik pintar bistari!”
“Tidak ada siapa yang boleh diamkan kita!”


Tiba-tiba setengah dari lampu di dewan itu mati. Kesemua di situ terdiam. Seorang lelaki tua yang bertugas sebagai pegawai keselamatan menjenguk ke dalam dewan itu dari balik pintu.


“Maaf semua, masa kegunaan dewan ini sudah tamat. Harap semua dapat beredar.” 


Seorang lelaki tua. Beliau sudah tua tetapi masih terus bekerja. Dari rautnya kelihatan dia sudah penat bekerja. Tetapi beliau terus bekerja untuk menampung hidupnya. Beliau bukan seorang siswa. Beliau tidak berpendidikan tinggi. Dari itu beliau harus terus bekerja. Tidak tahu bila akan masa persaraannya. 


Pegawai itu terus berkata,


“Saya sudah hendak kena kunci dewan ini.”


Para siswa di situ semuanya akur dan keluar dari dewan itu dengan tertib. Diam. Tidak ada siapa-siapa yang berkata apa-apa.

​

​TAJUK: BACAAN ORANG TULISAN SEORANG


sudah habis baca semua?
ini puisi, sajak, gurindam ke apa?


tulis halus hati tulus
tulis mulus tak bererti tak bagus


sajak mesti bergerak
mesti berganjak
tak boleh sentiasa di bawah tempurung katak
tak semestinya terus bertanjak


gurindam
terendam kecut berendam


puisi
tiada gigi tinggal gusi


belum lagi kias madah syair dan pantun
gerak cepat lupakan santun


kejar arus berduyun-duyun
baru maju tanpa ampun


ada yang boleh ada tak boleh
ada kasi ada tak kasi
ada setuju ada tak setuju
ada izin ada tak izin
ada suka ada marah
ada juang ada lelah


ada ada sahajalah


last last nanti.... bukannya faham pun
dari gurindam sampai ke pantun


setakat bahan menunjuk pandai sahaja....


dah habis baca semua?

This is going to be a short post. I don't even have any photos of it. But I am going to just write this down just so I can document whatever memories I have of these times.

We are back from Australia. Remember my gripe is always about not able to book out? Yes, we only book out every Saturday afternoons and back in camp on Sundays. That too if we don't have any weekend duties in camp. And then we had to go overseas to Australia for 3 weeks. We come back to Singapore and I think we had a few days of leave or off. Just a few days. Not even a week. And then we're back in camp again.

A few weeks after returning from Australia, we were told that we were going to be on Alert Red.

​What is Alert Red? 


Every unit would have to go through this at least once. Basically, there will always be one unit in Singapore that is on standby. If in any case that we are activated for whatever reasons, the unit will have to be ready to go within 2 hours. Alert red is also called 2NTM (2 hours notice to move). A unit will be on standby for 14 days. A Tuesday to another Tuesday 2 weeks later. 

Nice, another 2 full weeks in camp. I think it was during a Chinese New Year period in 2002. 

We all knew we have to go through this. It is just a matter of when. Unfortunately it was during Chinese New Year for us. It was really a morale blow. 

What made it feel better was, since it is 2NTM, we were not allowed to have any field exercises or time consuming activities as we are supposed to be ready within 2 hours. So this 2 weeks, we would just stay in bunk, go for meals, maybe play a few games amongst ourselves or do our own exercises. It was going to be a relaxed 2 weeks.

This is where the interesting things happened. 

We all prepared ourselves to be in camp for 2 weeks. 

First and foremost..... somehow... somehow....... somebody managed to bring in a TV. It was funny but was really welcomed. It was placed in our bunk at the foot of our bed. And then, slowly more things were brought in.

From TV to VCD player to a playstation. The other side of the bunk also has their own TV and another playstation. 

There was also a lot of snacks. A lot! We had a whole empty cupboard filled with foods. Snacks to instant noodles to bread to biscuits to eggs to i don't remember what else. 

These boys really knew how to fill time for these 2 weeks. 

We would then bring playstation games and VCDs. 

So yeah. That was how we spent 14 days in camp. The food in the cookhouse were extra nice too during this period. There were a lot of days with western food and Chinese food. I especially enjoyed the Hor Fun.

Back in the bunk, it was playstation, movie and drama marathons. 

My takeaway from this period? That was the first time I was exposed to Korean drama. We binged on the whole season of Winter Sonata (Chong bought stacks of Korean VCDs) and one of my favourite movie till today, “My Sassy Girl”.


NEXT WEEK : EXERCISE CRESCENDO (PART 1)

Categories : The Army Series

​I covered last week on the objects that make me happy. Today I am going to share on “Special Interests”.
Just like objects, delving in these interests calm me down and make me happy.

I quote this from a website:

“AS” people often have an intense and passionate level of focus on things of interest. Some have suggested that these "fixations" are essentially arbitrary and lacking in any real meaning or context; however, researchers note that special interests typically focus on the mechanical (how things work) as opposed to the psychological (how people work).

It is important to note that the special interests are highly important and meaningful to the “AS” person, similar to an intense hobby.

Sometimes these interests are lifelong; in other cases, one is phased out to make room for another. In pursuit of these interests, “AS” people often manifest extremely sophisticated reasoning, an intense focus, and a remarkably good memory for trivial facts. Hans Asperger called his young patients "little professors" because he thought his patients had as comprehensive and nuanced an understanding of their field of interest as university professors.

“AS” people may have little interest in things outside their special interests. In school, they may be perceived as highly intelligent underachievers, clearly capable of outperforming their peers in their field of interest, yet persistently unmotivated to do regular homework assignments (sometimes even in their areas of interest). Others may be hypermotivated to do excellent work and be considered "overachievers."

“AS” people display remarkable focus and dedication when interacting with their special interests. These traits may lead them to become highly successful in the workforce if they can find a job relating to the field.


So how do they make me happy? How to define happy?

To me, since everything is depressing, being involved in these special interests removes all of them. It removes the anxiety, the depression, the masking, the social awkwardness, the selective mutism, the sensory overloads. 

Talk to me about these and I can talk forever. My eyes lit up. My endorphins running all over. That's how it feels. Even if I do these interests alone, I'll be happy.

So what are these “Special Interests”?


PHASED OUT INTEREST

Singapore football! This one has been phased out but I still store some information in my head. It phased out in 1995 when Singapore exited from the Malaysian league and cup. After 1995, Singapore football has been in decline and to me just pure lame that I have stopped bothering. But before 1995, I know every player, their stats, their height, weight, position, teams, their skills, their jersey numbers. I read every article, watched every game, listened to live broadcasts. But since this interest has been phased out, I cannot remember much. 
​
I love playing football too but I am not physically strong. I don't have friends to play with. And when I do have people around to play together, I don't understand why they play in such inefficient manner.


ONGOING INTEREST

Reading!

I love reading. I read everything non fiction. Don't make me read fiction because the “AS” mind can think of various ways to solve problems, we have enough problems, I don't need to know your problems in a fictitious story. I read non fiction. Everything. Books, newspapers, pamphlets, cards, cardboards, labels, advertisements, signboards, ingredients on packagings, everything... I read every time at any time. Reading also caused my myopia which I developed when I was 7 years old.

Maps!

Maps! I love maps. All kinds of maps. To scale or not to scale. Doesn't matter. I will look and read and stare. I would memorise them and forget them and memorise again and forget them. Some people asked me how I drive without a GPS. I thought that was just being lazy. Before the past decade, no one had a GPS and people have been driving for hundreds of years. There are always ways. To me, I will read the map before I start my journey, memorise the turns and exits and then go on my way. My favourite maps currently are Google Earth and Streetdirectory. I don't use Google Maps. Seriously, you all have to stop your over reliance on Google maps. There is a free streetdirectory app with more accurate and clear details. But of course, I know this too well (and mentioned earlier in this post), no one would listen or believe me.

I wrote this blog entry some time last year. I wasn't sure if I had AS at that time. I just wrote for fun as there was not much work to do at that time.

https://www.anwarhadi.com/blog/hdb-roads

History!

History!! I love history. I love it so much, I didn't take history in schools. I choose to read them on my own. I choose to remember, analyse, map them out all on my own. Simply because history in schools are one sided and there are too many people believing in them and getting graded for them and feel superior after being graded. So no point learning them from schools. No point sharing my readings with anyone. No one bother. No one believe me. I'll just read them.

Photography!

Photography. Actually it is because of my sensory overload. This time, it is from the sense of sight. Everything catches my attention. Therefore there are many things that are beautiful to see and remember. Like cats, butterflies, flowers, sceneries, buildings, etc. So many things. They get packed in my head and I wanted to draw them. But I realise I cannot draw. So I take photos of them instead. When I have photos of them, I can free up the hard disk space in my brain. I know I have these images in my photos so I don't have to remember them in my brain. I can always refer to the pictures later. But I don't do these for notes like how current students do. They take photos of every note so that they don't write them down. To me, that is irresponsible. Writing makes you remember. You go to school to study. It is your responsibility to remember them. But then again.... no one will believe me here either.

Also a blog post. https://www.anwarhadi.com/blog/the-photography-series

I haven't been updating them because the readership is very low, my Photograpy Instagram and Facebook accounts have very low numbers of visitors. So I just take photos and keep them for myself now.

Riding / Driving
​Computer Games

These two are pretty simple. They just put me in my own peaceful world where I don't have to deal with humans. But the past few years, being on the road has been more stressful than before. There are just too many stupid people being released into the “wild”. So I prefer driving and riding at night when there are less people and definitely not hot.

WANING INTEREST

Theatre Arts. Music.

The next two topics used to be my very strong interest but not anymore now. But I still do them because it is my line of work. I find myself lucky being able to have a career in my special interest but I am losing these interests now. Simply because of the people. There are too many toxic people. I just want to be alone and do them in peace. 

Another reason why I am losing interest is because, I don't have formal education in them. But there are many who can afford to be formally educated and then start flexing their knowledge and education. To me it's disgusting and it makes me feel inferior. Arts has always been subjective and a source of expression. So now I just do them quietly. Do my part and go. No more discussions, talks, idea exchanges, sharing, etc.

ONGOING INTERESTS THAT I DON'T PURSUE

​For these. I just read. That's all. Just read. I am not educated in them. I like them. I cannot afford to study them. I cannot see the career prospects of them. I cannot practice them. And if I share my knowledge about them, no one would listen because I am not educated in them and have no academic qualifications to talk about them.

I just read them and love them. But since I don't pursue them, I just read and forget and read again. I make a point to forget the information so that I have the thrill of reading them again.

Geography
Astronomy
Etymology
Anthropology

So yes! These are my interests. I love them.

NEXT WEEK : AWKWARD SOCIALISING

Categories : Weirdly Wired

​And so we were done. My first overseas trip after Taiwan. The first while serving in a unit. I was looking forward to leave. It was fun but by now you would know that I hate travelling, I was really looking forward to go home. Of course, the thing I was looking forward to was, to finally get to use a proper clean toilet.

​LEAVING OLD CAMP GROWL

​After the normal administration stuff, we left Old Camp Growl. Our home for about 18 days. Less if you were out in the field. It was just an open patch of land with tents, toilets, water tank and canteen set up. As they tore the place down, it goes back to an empty piece of land. You would never know that that place housed 500 plus people at a time.

​ROCKHAMPTON CITY

​The first feel of air condition after 2 weeks. The tour bus brought us to Rockhampton City. I looked out the window and it looked the same as we left it. I think it still looks the same now 20 years later. I like it very much. It was sparse. No crowds. Bright and sunny. Not too hot and definitely not humid. It is a place that would be lovely to retire in. But I guess, as a youth, the place might be pretty boring. You can have a walk through of the city via Google Earth street view now. I think it looks pretty much the same.

R & R

Day 1

We will be having our 2 days 2 nights R&R. Organised tour in the day and free and easy in the evening. We stayed in this place called the Sundowner Lodge. It was a pretty and a simple place. I did a google search and it is now called the “Q Motel Rockhampton”. Still look exactly like how I remember. It is nice. I was in the same room as my buddy Nurizam.

So in the day, they brought us around the city. Went to some touristy spots like a gemstone park, post office, shopping mall, places like that. We had our dinner at about 5pm and then we were left on our own. Here's the funny part. When we were left free and easy in the evening, everything was closed as almost all business closed at 5pm. So basically we were roaming in an empty city. 

There was one big mall that was open though. It was called Target. It closes at 7pm. So we all head there and see what little shopping we could do.

Most of us bought milk as they were cheap. I think it was about 80cents for 2 litres. It was quite fun to drink that much. There was also Vanilla Coke. Remember I said that it was our first time seeing it? A number of us binged on it and quite a number of the Malay boys bought bottles of it to bring home. Remember that it was Ramadhan? They planned to bring home for Hari Raya. Surely the people and guests at home will be surprised to see and taste the flavour. Sounds like a fun thing to do. A souvenir from Australia. The bottles were huge too. They didn't sell them in 1.5 litre bottles like we have here. Theirs was 2 litres. So you see these boys lugging out 4 to 6 bottles of vanilla coke each out of Target at 7pm.

Day 2

We took the bus to a port town called Yeppoon and we took a ferry to this resort island called Keppel island. To be honest, I cannot remember much about this day. I guess it must have been pretty boring. I think we just walked around and took pictures. Some of the guys went swimming at the beach. I didn't bring any swimming gear so, I think I just walked around. And in the afternoon, we went back to the mainland for dinner and then free and easy. Again everything was closed so there was nothing to do. Nurizam and I went to Target again to have a last look on any souvenirs to buy back home.

​THAT EVENTFUL NIGHT

As Target announced the closure for the day, Nurizam and I exited and decided to walk back to our lodge. We calculated that it was about 4 to 5 kilometres walk which was nothing for our youthful fitness.

As we walked, we passed by a club called Hooters. I remember we were given flyers that day in the ferry to Keppel Island saying that Hooters will be opened that night. I guess it was the only thing that was opened or maybe they opened it specially for that night.

As we passed it, we didn't even enter it, it looked like the normal boat quay shophouse so you can see it from the outside, we saw almost everyone was there. It was very very crowded. Nurizam and I just looked from outside. It was funny. The whole city was closed and these whole bunch of hundreds of Singapore army boys swarming the small place. We tried to look for the girls because Hooters had waitresses in tight white t shirts and small orange hot pants. We did see some from outside. Somehow they looked...... Singaporean..... it was fishy. Where the Australian girls at? Hmmm.... not worth it. Anyway we didn't like it so we walked on. But it was quite a sight. Imagine hundreds of these entertainment starved boys in a small shophouse. Weird..

We then walked on along the empty roads. The roads turned to streets as we head further away from the city centre. 

As we walked past another shophouse kind of building, 2 guys ran out from it in front of us. I cannot remember who they were but they were our army boys. They looked at us and said, 

“Sergeant.... you better go inside. I think your friend is going to die already!”
“Who?”
“Sergeant Fardlie la...”

Nurizam and I looked at each other and wondered. Is he getting beaten up? We both rushed in.

To our surprise, there was a small room that was opened for business. It wasn't dim neon coloured but like a bright fluorescent lit room. There was a strip bar inside and we saw Fardlie laughing his guts out. Apparently he was laughing at some of our guys in the strip club watching 2 really fat ladies stripping. This time they didn't look like Singaporeans. They were really Australian ladies. How did these guys manage to find this place is beyond us but they definitely know how to beat the crowd. I think there were about 20 of our guys in there compared to hundreds at Hooters. They were really laughing and enjoying themselves. Nurizam and I sat and watched the strip show and the antics for a while. We both don't drink so it was fun to watch but not our kind of entertainment. After a short while, we left. But yes, it was less crowded, the strippers were more concentrated to the small number of guests and it was fun. It was funny too.

We were back on the dark streets as we continued our walk to our lodge. The streets literally got smaller and narrower. The areas got darker. Because it was dark, random bright lights attracted our attention. 

We saw a light which happened to be in the path of our journey. It was a small coffeeshop. Very much like our small stalls at a shophouse. There was only one burly man behind the counter. We wonder why it wasn't closed. 

2 boys sat at a table. 1 caucasian and 1 aborigine. They were about 15 or 14. The aborigine boy suddenly walked to us and stood in front of us blocking our way. I don't know if he was trying to look intimidating but he really wasn't. He was small and had to tilt his head up to look at us.

“Hey mate.... you got a cigarette?”

Funny boy. I gave him a stick of Sampoerna. A kretek (clove) cigarette. 

“Thanks. You have a light?”

I lit the cigarette for him.

He said thanks, inhaled the kretek cigarette deeply and blew a puff. As he walked back to his table, he wobbled and fell as he tried to reach his chair while holding his head. His friend and the owner rushed over to help him. Nurizam and I chuckled as we walked on. The young lad trying to act tough in front of us couldn't handle the kick from a puff off a kretek cigarette. 

We then walked along a narrow street with 2 storey buildings beside us. From afar we saw a group of youths, maybe about 10 of them. We paused. They were holding metal rods and baseball bats. They were breaking into a store and smashing its glass window. They were in our path so we stopped to see. They were about 100 metres away from us. 

And then as they were breaking the windows, they saw us. Maybe they didn't expect anyone to be there at that time. Heck it was just about maybe 9pm. 

They shouted at us from afar and walked towards us. It was a view from Purge movie I tell you. But somehow we weren't scared. They walked and as they came nearer, we turned around and walked. We could hear them shouting at us to stop. We didn't and then we ran. We were not scared I tell you. We just ran while smiling. This was an adventure!

They chased after us and we just sprinted laughingly while turning corners around the blocks. If you do a google map search on Rockhampton, it looks like many other European or American cities with squarish layouts and right angled streets. So it was quite easy to navigate as long as we head towards a general direction. 

Our sense of direction was strong. Our fitness was at peak at that time. We sprinted and run around corners knowing that they were chasing us. It was fun. We just kept turning at corners and at times we were actually behind them. We saw them getting tired. We saw them gave up and catching their breaths. As they stopped and pant... we appeared at the other end of the street. They saw us but couldn't chase us. We looked over our shoulders and walked on laughingly. It was fun.

We are almost reaching our lodge. Maybe another kilometre away. We walked past buildings. Like I said, everything was closed and it was dark. If any room or building was lit, it would be obvious. 

One room on the second floor was lit. We walked pass it and a lady looked out the window. At least she was pretty. 

“Hey boys...!! Do you want to have fun?”

She then put a leg out of the window ledge and straddled on it. She was half naked and encouraging us to come up to the 2nd floor. Then there were a few more half naked ladies at the window and I think 2 men. Well they were all half naked or fully naked I don't know because the lower part was covered by the ledge. They kept asking us to come up for fun. Hahaha. It was funny. We declined laughingly. But it was fun seeing it. As we walked further the ladies waved at us. 

“Bye boys! Have a good night!”

I don't know. I just feel that was a nice gesture. 

We have reached the main road of our lodge. We headed over to a petrol station just across our lodge. We bought a loaf of bread, water and a jar of nutella. We went back to our room and binged on it as we watched TV to sleep. 

It was an eventful walk and I can remember that clearly until today.


BACK TO ROCKHAMPTON AIRPORT

Back at the airport. Ready to go home. I really couldn't wait to go home. 

Remember the boys buying bottles of Vanilla Coke? We were told that we were not allowed to bring gassy drinks on to the plane. Hahaha. Luckily I didn't buy any. I didn't want to lug heavy bottles in my bag. 

The boys were disappointed. It was a good souvenir. It was for Hari Raya. 

And then they said in Malay, “If we cannot bring the drink, at least we bring back the bottle as a souvenir.” It was nice. The bottle was different and the printing clearly says Vanilla Coke. So the bottles were a consolation.

And then you see these 500 plus people sitting on the floor of the small Rockhampton Airport, passing bottles of Vanilla Coke around to be shared by everyone. Drink and pass. Drink and pass till we empty the bottles. I am chuckling as I type this. It was funny. Drink as much as you can and pass around. We drank till we bloat. And that was how we ended this trip.

​NEXT WEEK : ALERT RED 

Categories : The Army Series

At 40 years old, I found out that I might have been having a neurological condition, though I cannot (yet) afford an official assessment and diagnosis. In the meantime I shall call this condition “AS”. I spent time reading about “AS” and it made me realise that the signs and symptoms were prevalent throughout my life. It is like these writers know exactly how I have been living my life though we have never met before. I start this “Weirdly Wired” series to document about my life experiences with the symptoms which all these while I thought were “normal”.

I found this online about what people say about obsession that is from our side of the view.

Many “AS” people have intense and highly-focused interests, often from a fairly young age. These can change over time or be lifelong. It can be art, music, gardening, animals, postcodes or numbers. For many younger children it's Thomas the Tank Engine, dinosaurs or particular cartoon characters.  

“AS” people might also become attached to objects (or parts of objects), such as toys, figurines or model cars – or more unusual objects like milk bottle tops, stones or shoes. An interest in collecting is also quite common. 

“Instead of encouraging “AS” people away from their obsessions, recognise them as actual legitimate interests which may be secretly doing them a world of good.”

“Normal people have interests. “AS” people have obsessions.”

​This is going to be an incoherent post. I can see the links between the things I am going to talk about. But I am not sure if anyone can see it too or at least see it in my point of view or the very very least, understand what I am going to talk about.

Basically, today is about connection with specific objects or “obsession” as it is often put as. 

It is easy to say that people are “obsessed” with things when you don’t go through it yourself. You might have an interest yourself that to others can be seen as an obsession.

To me it’s all about making myself happy. What do people do to make themselves happy? Meet friends. Meet family members. Doing things with people. Whatever and whoever kinds of people. Go movies, picnic, karaoke, watch football, online games…. Etc etc…… what is the keyword here? People.

A little back story. 

I used to have a lot of friends. I had friends for every activity. But as I grow older, one by one left. For many and whatever reasons, they all left. Some just disappeared. Some left angrily. Some just ignored and left. 

And because people leave me so easily, I thought that it is normal to leave. And when I do leave certain people, they don’t look for me after that so I guess they are happy that I’m gone. 

Initially, people would call me smart, witty, funny, interesting, etc.

But when they got to know me, most of the time, they called me angry, pessimistic, negative, toxic, weird, crazy.

They do not understand me. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t understand me. 

At least now I know that, before this, I didn’t understand myself too. I didn’t know that I am different. They didn’t know that I am different. It’s just two different people thinking that all man are created equal and then realise that there are differences without knowing that there could be such differences.

I understand now. There were no diagnosis then. No one knew. 

But now I know that I have “AS”. And I found out that people without “AS” are called “Neurotypicals”. 

It is ok. Now we know. At least, now I know. 

So everyone has left. I don’t bother to find anyone because Neurotypicals won’t understand anyway. So I am just doing my own things happily on my own. 

I am in a few new environments now. I don’t feel belong there. As I have never feel belonged anywhere actually. But at least now I have stopped masking and stopped trying to blend in. I just keep quiet and speak whenever I am told. I don’t bother if my talks are incoherent or I don’t make eye contact or I stammer or I blabber. I feel more at ease now. Last week a lady who have stopped talking to me laughed at what I was sharing with people. A lady beside me kept cutting whatever I wanted to say. I used to get annoyed because why wouldn’t you see it from my point of view or at least let me finish what I want to say. But now I don’t care because they are neurotypicals and they are not designed to understand an “AS”. So…. Let it be…. Pergi jahanam.

So what do people with “AS” do?

We have obsessions, that neurotypical call “obsessions”.

I have a number of them. Anyway, they change with times. But some still sticks with me for as long as I can remember and up till today.

Some of them are

Shoes
Bags
Watches
Cameras
Personal computing gadgets such as hp ipad laptop ipods palmtop and computer games.

I have a collection of them and I keep them and I love looking at them and I love getting new ones and I love arranging them and I love making use of them and I love how they look like.

Of course I still have my “Bantal Busuk” (Smelly Pillow) like many others out there. 

And a recent obsession is Jennie. I have photos of her everywhere. I mean Kpop fans do this all the time right? I think they are more obsessed with them than me. Just look at some of their behaviours. Well I don’t like Kpop. I just like Jennie. I don’t even like Blackpink. I just like Jennie.

Someone said, I am obsessed with her.

Now, look at it from my point of view. 

Having people around you who makes you happy once in a while but constantly hurt you.
Having things around you that will never hurt you and constantly make you happy.

Which one would you choose?

Well it’s up to every individual.

I choose the latter. 


NEXT WEEK : OBSESSION / INTEREST ON CERTAIN TOPICS

Categories : Weirdly Wired

Ok part 2! So exciting. I better type all these down as soon as possible as I am slowly forgetting some things. Luckily I have photo albums of this trip, so it kind of remind me of the things that happened.

So we have settled down at Old Camp Growl. I don't remember if we had any topography exercise for this trip. If I remember correctly, the first week was our terrain familiarisation with platoon and company mission exercises. 

I remember the terrain. It was like the desert that meets the tropical rainforest. There were trees. Quite sparse and the ground was either red sand or dried grass. We were there in November so it was summer. It was also the fasting month of Ramadhan. The sun rose at about 5am and set at 7:30pm. The days were slightly longer than the nights. It was very hot and dry in the day but it wasn't humid so it was ok. But we dried up quite quickly and we had to constantly hydrate ourselves. I think it was about 33 degrees. Yes 33 degrees is considered normal now, but in the early 2000s, it was considered hot. (At that time in Singapore, once it hit 32degrees, it would be considered Category 1 weather and all outdoor exercises would cease.) The nights were cool and dry. Maybe about 20 to 24 degrees. 

I remember the whole company was out in the field for the first time. The sun was setting and we were on a non-tactical break on the open. The view was reddish. The soil was reddish. The ground was just earth and sand. What awed me was seeing kangaroos jumping in the distance. It was a very touristy advertisement view.

​LOST

There was one exercise where my platoon was assaulting an objective. Usually when we were at a location near to our objective, a place called the “Form Up Place” (FUP), we would take off our bags and arrange them neatly before assaulting up the hill. So we did. Just like usual. We then assault up the objective. Once we were done, a group of us would go back to the FUP to collect the bags for the rest of the platoon who are at the objective.

So this particular day, myself, another sergeant named Colin and a number of us, went back downhill to collect the bags for our platoon. I think there were about 10 of us. 

The vegetation was sparse. Every turn looked the same. Just trees and open spaces. Somehow, we couldn't find the bags. We spread around the area and yet we couldn't find them. We then tried to trace back our steps to the objective but we couldn't as well. Everywhere looked the same. Even though we followed our compass diligently. There was no GPS then for everyone at that time. It was pure compass and map. We walked and we searched and we couldn't find the bags, we couldn't trace back to the rest of the platoon on the objective. It was about 11am when we walked down to look for the bags. By 1pm, we realised, we were lost. 

It was weird. How could we be lost? The trees were sparse. We followed our compass and the bags were not far away. And then we realised something. I had a compass. Colin had a compass. Our compass were not pointing towards the same direction! The needle kept changing directions. And there were a few times when our compass would just spin around and around. 

Apparently the ground had magnetic waves that caused disturbance to our compass and we were officially lost. Some of the guys begin to dehydrate. I was really hoping they will not hallucinate. We tried to find our directions slowly by just gut feeling. It was hot and dry. Our compass keep spinning. We were dehydrating. We tried to keep our morale up. It was already about 4pm. 5 hours has passed. Once we saw a skeleton on the ground. Maybe a from a kangaroo. We joked that the kangaroo was lost too and soon it would be our skeletons there.

5pm. 6 hours has passed. Colin and I decided to stop walking. We need to rest and prevent ourselves from dehydrating and to ration whatever water we have left. 

Somehow I didn't panic. I was worried but I didn't panic. I just feel that since 6 hours has passed, some people would realise that we were lost and look for us. 

A few minutes later, as we were resting, 4 Light Strike Vehicles roared nearby. Colin and I shouted out to them. They soon came over and took all of us back to our objective. They were sent to look for us. Some of the guys were already flat out tired and dehydrated. I was grateful they found us but still I wasn't panicking. Weird. I was just like, yeay they found us. Another day in Australia has passed. One more day down before we can go home.

​
​EXERCISE DARING FALCON

After a few days of company mission exercises. We went on to the battalion mission exercise called “Exercise Daring Falcon”. The previous exercises was to prepare us for this 5 days mission exercise. 

It started off like another mission exercise that by now we are used to. The only difference was, the training area is huge. We got to ride helicopters everywhere. But the walking was far too. 10 to 15km every mission. 

It was hot. It was tiring. The consolation was the pretty views from on top of the hills. It was really beautiful. But it was physically challenging. One by one, people started falling out from fatigue. The most serious casualty at that time happened to a buddy, Nurizam. A tree branch fell on him, knocked him out, bled from the ear and nose. Sent to a medical centre or a hospital. I didn't see it happen. I only heard about it.

One day, it was my turn. I fell out. Fatigued and dehydrated. They sent me back to Old Camp Growl to rest. Back in camp I saw all the others who fell out. And I saw Nurizam. My first question was, “The nurse pretty or not?” He laughed. “Everyone asked me about the nurses!”

So that was my Exercise Daring Falcon. 2 days in the field and back in camp. Together with those who have fallen out of the exercise.

OLD CAMP GROWL

Well, you might think it was relaxing to be back in camp. I cannot deny. It was. I was glad to be able to lie down back on my safari bed. But.... it was boring. I am not complaining. I'm just stating the fact.

There was nothing in camp. It's just you, the people, the tent, the portable toilet and the canteen. The cookhouse was closed as everyone was out in the field. We had to eat our combat rations still. Everyone knows combat rations are not nice but we ate them anyway. But yes.... we just chatted and looked at each other. We were also always hungry and the rations soon finished.

Nurizam and I made a checkers board from cardboard and we played using pebbles. I had a book with me but I soon finished it. So yes. It was just boring.

​CANTEEN

The canteen was open though. Sometimes Nurizam and I would buy milk or vanilla coke. The milk in Australia was cheap but we didn't drink much as it doesn't quench our thirst in the hot weather. That was also the first time we saw vanilla coke. There was no vanilla coke in Singapore then and we enjoyed it. It was nice. Those were the only things we bought from the canteen.

There were food too but we didn't buy any as they were all meat. We were not sure if they were halal. The other guys, once sick of the combat rations were eating steak and meat sandwiches and chicken. Nurizam and I would just look and continued eating our combat rations, rewarding ourselves with Maggi noodles for dinner. 

One day, we really got sick of the rations. Nurizam and I looked at each other. We asked ourselves, should we just get something from the canteen? But it wasn't halal. Ok then... let's just eat the chicken. Just one. Just.... one. There was this “Chicken Satay” at the canteen. It was huge. It was like a subway 6 inch bread on a stick but just pure chicken. Yes that huge for 1 stick. We thought, maybe we can just get 1 stick and share between the 2 of us. It may not be halal but at least it was chicken and let's just eat one stick. Just one stick. Just one to get our tastebuds away from the combat rations. 

So we did. We bought a stick and shared. It tasted ok. It wasn't the best food we have ever eaten but it was heaven at that time. Just one stick and we savoured. With a can of vanilla coke. It was the best meal in Australia so far. But that's all. Just one stick and then we felt sinful for the rest of the days.


EXERCISE CUT

After the set of days, the exercise ended and the rest of the battalion returned back to camp. We welcomed them back. They were envious as we had a lot of rest days. We told them it was boring and the days were very long. But still, we were not complaining. 

We were happy that they are back because it means the cookhouse will be open again and we could have proper food at last. 

That evening, on the day that they came back to camp, we had a “Happy Hour”. The army always have happy hour to celebrate the end of some exercises or events. There would be a talk by the commanders and followed by free flow meals and beer. I was just looking forward for the meals. I badly need a proper meal, away from the rations. 

So there was a short talk by the commanders congratulating us for completing the exercise. After that, we were all led to the eating area where we could eat our hearts out. There was the halal food buffet and the non halal food buffet. 

We went to the halal side. Nurizam and I let the soldiers who completed the exercise to have their meals first and we would take our part later. Guess what we saw? Chicken Sate. Stacks of them. Free flow and never ending stacks of chicken sate. Of course with other food types. Nurizam and I looked at each other... So they were halal all these while after all????

NEXT WEEK : EXERCISE WALLABY 2001 (PART 3)

Categories : The Army Series

At 40 years old, I found out that I might have been having a neurological condition, though I cannot (yet) afford an official assessment and diagnosis. In the meantime I shall call this condition “AS”. I spent time reading about “AS” and it made me realise that the signs and symptoms were prevalent throughout my life. It is like these writers know exactly how I have been living my life though we have never met before. I start this “Weirdly Wired” series to document about my life experiences with the symptoms which all these while I thought were “normal”.

I actually skipped a week from blogging a post in this series. Simply because I don’t know how to say. I know what is in my head but I don’t know how to put them in words. This year I have stopped masking and I feel so much more at ease. Life has been more peaceful. I am still upset by people who create, spread and believe in slanders but I let God handle them because I don’t have the means to settle with them. I have also been talking less. The past weeks I was placed in spots where I have to speak. Speaking without masking, preparing thoughts and scripts are difficult. I know what it is in my head but it is very hard to relay them verbally. So will the contents in this post. I hope it will be easy to understand. 

Today’s topics is about “Routines”.

People with “AS” generally like things to be in specific order, routines and habits. I thought it was just normal. I cannot stand messy people. But I also understand the mess in my head with information overload. And also I cannot articulate them so, let it just be then. 

I also realise, that a logical reason behind these routines and order is because of anxiety when things do not go to plan or when any random thing crops up. Again, I thought I was just being ready and prepared and the obsession to be prepared for anything, but apparently it is more prevalent with people diagnosed with “AS”.

Common signs and symptoms of ASD in adults can include: Reliance on daily routines and difficulty dealing with change.

A Tendency Toward Following an Established Routine

Individuals with "AS" typically prefer structure, and they tend to follow the same routines day in and day out. When schedules are altered or disturbed in any way, it can often lead to much greater discomfort than it would for someone who does not live with "AS". When interacting with adults with "AS", it is important to remember that structure equals comfort for them. Helping them keep their schedules intact will go a long way in earning their trust, as well as being reliable and consistent. 

Adults with "AS" may have a structured sleep/wake routine, household chores, and daily living routine, and a structured routine when out in the community. For example, when driving to run errands, they may only drive on certain roads, go to only specific stores, and once in the store, have a very planned route they take to gather their items. If something was to deter them from doing something as planned, it tends to be difficult, especially for those on the spectrum. 

Being able to successfully deviate from schedules and effectively handle transitions is something that can be improved upon with therapy and practice. Adults with "AS" benefit from visuals, reminders, and backup plans regarding managing daily schedules. 


So in my whole life, I have been having routines without me realising. I do realise I get upset when I cannot plan for anything or I don’t know what I am expecting. I thought it is normal for everyone. I would look at timetables and calendars over and over again just to keep my anxiety low by mentally preparing myself for the activities ahead. Any random happenings, I will get extremely upset. 

Some things like, a cancellation of plans or missing items or malfunctioning item or people not adhering to schedules and timings, etc. I particularly hate the randomness of the army. Seriously I only survived the army because I was living for the “book outs” and finishing the service in one piece. I was always very upset in the army. I have no respect for my higher ranked superiors if they behave with overbearing sense of regimental authority because of their ranks. If I didn’t think of my book outs, I would definitely beat them up. Especially when they keep giving random orders just because it is “the army” and we have to always “expect the unexpected”.

Ok so basically I live by routines. Planned routines. People say, how can I be a routined person if I am a freelancer? 

To be honest, I am very bad with people (Supposedly just like many others with "AS" due to our difference in social thinking and perceptions) and I do not like to take orders. I actually enjoyed working in the library almost 20 years ago. I enjoyed the routine. But I cannot understand the people. I don’t understand why simple things are always made difficult and no one would listen to me. If I am tasked in a place or department where I can work alone and not mix with people, I would have enjoyed myself there and I can do the same thing over and over again forever.

So I became a freelancer. Yes it is not routined like an office job routine, but I make sure that I stick to the same plans, same jobs, same people all the time. I would plan my calendars and stick to it religiously. Any new addition to a filled calendar will be rejected. My calendar is not fluid. You cannot change the appointments and the times allocated for anything in there, and this includes my rest and recreation time.

And also, I am very loyal worker. If I like the place that I am working at, I will stay there and continue working and would not even feel that the years has passed. I will enjoy the routine even though I am a freelancer. I will be there for years. I am only not there now because one company closed down. I was very upset about it and still enjoy the memories of that place. As of other places, I am only not there anymore simply because I cannot work with the people. I love the jobs, I cannot with the people. 

The current place that I am working at is also an enjoyable job. The people have been unpleasant the past 3 years but I have been enduring their shit because I love the job. Once the contract ends, I don’t know if I would stay there, unless something is done about the people there because I can really do this job until I die. It is always the people who is the problem. 

Unfortunately for me, I am not adaptable to changes, so if I do stop working there, I wouldn’t know where and what else to do.

This is  also mentioned in a post I read about “AS”:

A study on services and outcomes in autistic adults showed that 27% of “AS” participants were unemployed. “AS” adults may also have more limited options for support services than “AS” children. In the same study, 25% of “AS” participants reported not getting enough support services.

I think they are having the same problem as me. We cannot live with people. People do not understand us. We cannot adapt to changes. We hate the change in routines. We don’t know what kind of jobs can we do.

With that, it makes sense that my things are always in some order. Some things may look messy to others but I know exactly how I arrange them. I know where they are. I know where to look for them. These things in my drawer, my table, my cupboard, my bags, my shoes, my clothes, etc. 

I get upset when they are moved without me knowing. Especially when my mother “cleans up” my room and rearrange my things. Many times even until today I would feel like screaming and crying when I cannot find my things that were rearranged. I am so determined to get my own house because of this. Even though that thing is nearby, or placed in another drawer or placed at the side of the table or anywhere in my not so big room. I would really really get very upset. It is more upsetting knowing that I have to suppress it and not show any signs of it. So I will just perspire and breathe hard and controlling my breathe and anger while looking for the things. They would still be in my room somewhere but I will still feel very very upset. A few minutes of my time has been wasted searching for these things that I usually know where they are. These few minutes wasted would affect my routine and my timings.


NEXT WEEK : CONNECTION WITH SPECIFIC OBJECTS

Categories : Weirdly Wired 
​

​Exercise Wallaby
Shoal Water Bay 
Queensland, Australia
4th November to 24th November 2001

So by now we have all settled in Bedok Camp. We had routines everyday. We still could not clear our leave and off. So was it getting boring? So what was the best way to knock the routine off the track for awhile? Oooh... what else? Let's go travelling! And where is a better place than the huge playground called Shoal Water Bay Australia! Where the desert meets the forest. Where grass meets dust. Where you can see the horizon and open spaces as far as the eye can see. Where you see wild koalas, kangaroos and wallabies. Australia. Here I come to see. Oh how excited I can be.

​Nah, I was lying. You'll know by now, I hate travelling and I was dreading as the day comes near for us to head to Australia.

But, it was my first time going to a “Negeri Orang Putih” (Caucasian country). So that was the only draw I had for this trip. I wanted to see how the place looks like, the houses, the people, etc.

So after a 6 hours overnight flight, we arrived at Rockhampton. 

It was cool to alight from the plane and go down to the tarmac and then walk towards the airport. It felt like an old school movie. (As I type this, I am reminded of landing in Thailand in another army trip. That was much cooler but will share it in a future post.)

My first impression of Rockhampton airport was..... It looked like the old Tampines Stadium. Just a one story brick building and a huge brick wall to separate the airport from the public area. It looked really very much like the old Tampines Stadium then. The stadium is now gone, so... maybe the airport looks different now too. 

We took a bus and headed to the city. Though it was called a city, it was pretty quiet. The radio on the bus was playing songs from a local radio station and every now and then there would be a jingle that says “We love this city!” following the tune of Starship's “We Built This City”.

It looked very much like a peaceful countryside. The houses were made of wood and planks like clean and well arranged kampung houses. I was expecting concrete bungalows but they actually did look like kampung houses only that the residents were Caucasians. I love the tranquility though. They also have wide green spaces behind the houses and I saw men riding horses like cowboys. 

It was so sparse, so quiet, so peaceful, so bright and so pretty. 

At a population of only 58000 people then, the whole city of Rockhampton could fit into the old Kallang Stadium.

As I typed this, I paid a visit to Rockhampton via Google Earth. It still look pretty much the same. Still bright and pretty.

We then reached a local school and had a meal at the canteen. Bread, sausages and scrambled eggs. Normal breakfast. And after that we board the bus again to head towards the place that we were going to stay for the next 18 days. (Or so we thought.) About 4 hours drive away to Shoal Water Bay training area.

​We reached a place called Samuel Hill Camp. Ok. It looked decent. It has concrete buildings that looked like a proper administrative building. With a cook house, proper toilets and shower. We couldn't see the bunks though. 

There was a hill overlooking the camp area. I assume that was Samuel Hill. It looked like Pengkang Hill overlooking Pasir Laba but with less vegetation. Looked more like Currahee Mountain overlooking Camp Toccoa in Georgia USA if you watch the “Band of Brothers” series.

We had a look around but we still couldn't see the bunks that we were supposed to sleep in. We then had lunch. After that our duffel bags arrived. We were then told to collect our duffel bags and get back in line. 

Apparently Samuel Hill camp was just a stopover to get our duffel bags, had lunch and receive whatever equipment that was flight there. We then had to travel to our permanent camp about an hour away.
​

During that travel, I looked at the terrain and the vegetation. The trees are quite sparse. It was really like a desert meeting a tropical forest which is expected as Shoal Water Bay was near the Tropic of Capricorn.

And then in the middle of nowhere, we stopped and told to alight. 

We were here. Old Camp Growl. It is not even a “new” Camp Growl. Apparently there was a newer Camp Growl somewhere which was being developed to replace this “Old” Camp Growl. So we were actually left in an abandoned place.

There was really nothing there. It wasn't a camp. It was a camp “site”. An empty plot of land with tracks and some granite trails. As we alight, we saw our camp being “set up”. They were putting up tents for our sleeping arrangements. They were setting up the HQ tent, and the canteen. They were literally tents. We also saw them setting up portable toilets and showers. Damn I hate those portable plastic toilets. Am I the only person who think that they are disgusting? We also saw them setting up a huge water tank in the middle of the site. Apparently that tank will have water for us to use for anything for the next 18 days.

​I'm not a spoilt city brat. Other than the portable toilets, I really didn't mind the arrangements. It was an army camp. It felt like going camping. The weather was nice. Bright and sunny but not humid. So it wasn't uncomfortable. There was also a consistent dry cool wind blowing. 

They gave us a sleeping bag and a safari bed to each of us. We settled in our tents. 

I can live with this. Now I am dreading the mission exercises which would follow after this.

NEXT WEEK : EXERCISE WALLABY 2001 (PART 2)

Categories : The Army Series

​Continuing from where I left off. Another experience and the last one I had with foreign soldiers. 
This time it was for Exercise Carat. I cannot remember which year it was and also I cannot remember much. This was definitely when life was already into auto-pilot. But I do remember a few things and I am going to document them here.

According to what we were told, the Guards unit has similar operational tasks with the US Marines. We are both air and seaborne land elite infantry formations. So every year, there will be this “exchange exercises” between the Marines and the Guards unit. Just like Exercise Semangat Bersatu, we were supposed to take turns among batches. One batch would go over to the Hawaii, to experience this joint exercise. The next batch would stay in Singapore and the Marines would come over. Again, I consider myself lucky that my batch was the batch where the Marines came to Bedok Camp. Some guys lamented that they would love to be going to Hawaii. Not me. Enough travelling already within these two and a half years.

Like I said, I cannot remember much. So it shall be a short post. 

A company sized Marines soldiers came over to Bedok Camp for this joint exercise. Just like Exercise Semangat Bersatu, there was a mini “expo” and then a joint mission exercise. 

The Marines displayed their weapons, vehicles and ration during the mini expo. So did we. We had fun looking at their vehicles. Mostly their rovers and jeeps. Most of us were excited to see their combat rations. Their food was normal. Biscuits, breads, baked beans, energy bars. Pretty much the same stuff. What we found cool was, they all have a packet of Marlboro cigarettes included in their rations.

The Marines soldiers were generally much bigger in size than most of us. They were not much taller but just bigger. Most of us were skinny or lean. 

Another thing that we found interesting during that expo was how small their weapons were. Big men carrying small weapons. They looked at my GPMG set and wondered how these skinny fellas were able to carry them while we looked in envy at how small their machine guns were. Theirs were similar to our SAW guns. 

(Our Cool Weapons)

And the mortars.... they were shocked to see the size of our 84mm recoilless rifle while their mortar can be placed at the side of their field packs. 

A few days later, the mission exercise started. Yup, our skinny soldiers had heavier load compared to the Marines. All of us hunching our backs and walking in the forest while the big sized soldiers had comfortable backpacks looking like they were on a hike. But honestly I was surprised. We walked at night as per usual. We just walked. Like how we walked in all other mission exercises. During one of the halts and as I walked along the line to receive instructions, I saw the Marines soldiers lying down on their backs and panting. Clothes unbuttoned and fanning themselves. Well I guess it was a good exercise and experience for them to feel our humidity and heat even though it was at night. 

The last thing about this exercise that I could remember was, the assault on Pulau Sudong. After we were done there, we were supposed to be airlifted from the island back to mainland. The Marines would get to fly on our Super Pumas while were got to ride their helicopter. So my platoon was platoon 9. The last platoon of the company and battalion. When it was our turn, their helicopter had a technical problem. We waited till it was almost dark. And that was all I can remember. I cannot remember how we got out from there. 

(Our Vehicles)

So yes, that was a short post. Just for the sake of documenting. I still have a lot more experiences to share in my upcoming posts. But if you do have anything that you would like to read or want to know about, do leave a comment. Maybe I can have more ideas on what to write about. 

NEXT WEEK : EXERCISE WALLABY 2001

Categories : The Army Series

At 40 years old, I found out that I might have been having a neurological condition, though I cannot (yet) afford an official assessment and diagnosis. In the meantime I shall call this condition “AS”. I spent time reading about “AS” and it made me realise that the signs and symptoms were prevalent throughout my life. It is like these writers know exactly how I have been living my life though we have never met before. I start this “Weirdly Wired” series to document about my life experiences with the symptoms which all these while I thought were “normal”.

Finally I'm going to write and post something that is not depressing. Something that can flow like water from a broken tap but yet very tiring to filter and keep them in some coherent order. ​

Today's post is about how my brain goes all over the place whenever I need to talk.

​Here is a video of me answering 2 questions regarding my play early this year. I had to keep my answers within 1 minute. You have no idea how many takes it took me to record that video in 1 minute. I had so much to talk about and I have to trim it down to the most accurate answer. And while I was saying the answers, my brain gets disrupted by possible new answers or information that I think would be worthy to share and I had to consider whether it is worthy and how to say it while exactly at the same time when my mouth is saying the answers that I have already planned to answer.

Oh and also, do notice the wayward eye contact and movements. 

It is said that people with with “AS” have terrible eye contact. This I agree. But I guess, the cause of the lack of eye contact is because our brain is processing information from everywhere. I notice that the people with “AS” who share their youtube videos will also have their eyes darting everywhere and have a lot of cuts in their videos. I'm sure it is because they edit it to make the information shared, coherent.

If you read my previous posts in this series, you would have known by now that my brain processes information from everything I see, hear, smell, taste, imagine and remember. They will all fight for my attention like someone photobombing a photograph. 

Even when I write, I will jot down points first before I write them in some coherent order. If I let my brain run on its own, my posts would be all over the place. Even now, I think all my posts are pretty much in some disorderly fashion and a professional writer would consider my writings as trash.

And this is me writing. Imagine me talking. I have no time to jot the notes down to filter, arrange, process and disseminate them without getting overwhelmed by incoming information.

Thus, I actually dislike live interviews or talkback sessions.

I actually love to talk. I love having conversations. I love sharing my thoughts. I love having someone to talk to. I really do. But I avoid all these because it is very difficult;

trying to not get out of point.
trying not to be incoherent and arrange them so that people can understand.
trying to make sure that they understand.
trying to filter off all other information that are zooming in my head.
trying to make people see from my point of view.

It is hard and sometimes stressful to arrange these thoughts and information while doing it live. I can feel my brow, forehead and eyes cramping, definitely energy sapping

My command of language is actually quite good, but usually at these times, i will blabber and stammer and mumble as my mouth tries to keep up with my brain.

Ok let me try this activity for this post. It is a freestyle writing activity. 

I will choose something random. Set a timer for 2 minute and talk (type) about it until the timer ends. It is important to write whatever that comes to mind during this 1 minute without stopping.

I always do this activity during my play writing classes and the students would be cracking their brains, thinking what to write when in actuality, you don't have to think. Just write whatever that comes to mind. But then again, people are always taught to think before they speak so I guess this activity is unusual for them.

But the point of me sharing this is for you to see how my brain works. I'm not going to hide or edit or filter or whatever. 

1 random object
2 minutes to write anything that comes to mind, without stopping. 

Ok let me set my timer. 

Ok now a random thing on my table.

I choose : Mask (hahhahaha how apt. “AS” and mask.)

Ok 2 minutes start now.

I have blue mask, black mask. Black mask sounds like black mass a johnny depp movie. Black masks are nicer. Cloth masks are ugly. I use to want toys thats called mask in the 80s but they are expensive. I wanted the green bike one called condor. Now i have a green bike because of that toy. It needs to go for servicing. I service the bike at a shop in Woodlands. The guy there is nice but he got a job in another placce already and will be leaving in 2 weeks. My bike is green. Hulk is green. Avengers is no fun already. Whatever is shang chi? I want x men back. But wolverine is dead. Dc movies sucks. I like movies.

Ok so there you go. 2 minutes. Imagine asking me to talk about a mask on my table. Imagine what I would talk about if I do not filter and arrange my thoughts. It will go all over the place. Worse, if I let the other things such as information from sight, smell, hearing, touch and taste get into my brain. The 2 minute typing above was just from my head and not from my 5 senses.

So how?
Cool or not?

NEXT WEEK : ORDER, ROUTINES AND HABITS

Categories : Weirdly Wired